Striving towards Excellence

Greatness, Competitiveness and Friendship

-Karthik Gurumurthy

I love this picture not just they are tennis fiercest rivals of all time. To see your greatest rival cry tears of sadness is the ultimate respect. There will never be another rivalry like this duo.Two men demonstrating the strength to be authentic. To be truly as you are, where you are. It's so obvious what this moment means to these two. Their powerful emotions clearly, courageously on display for all to see. How often do we hold ourselves back from being our authentic selves because we feel "it's not allowed." When was the last time you felt strong enough to be authentic?  It disrupts and destroys all myths about masculinity, competition and vulnerability.Being vulnerable in front of others always shows one's inner strength and character. 

Men are expected not to cry.
Men are expected to be tough.
Men are expected to destroy the competition.

Nothing about the raw emotion of Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal follows any of those outdated, damaging and dangerous rules of toxic masculinity.

They are openly crying.
They are holding hands.
They are competitors on the court and compassionate comrades who respect and revere one another.

Possessing both masculine and feminine traits is the sign of an evolved person. This really warms my heart.

And I hope that we are continuing to move towards a world that evolves beyond the gender binary "masculine" and "feminine"; one that isn't so desperately set on putting people into boxes and telling them that who they are, what they feel, who they love and how they live is "wrong" or "right" based on how the world has gendered them.

Until then, I implore more and more leaders to show up fully in all of their *human* traits — regardless of gender — so we can embrace, learn from and love them wholly.  Bow and respect to both Federer and Nadal..

Greatest of all time: Roger Federer!

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Few people in this world set such a high example for character, class, sportsmanship and pure love for the game of tennis. It was a pleasure watching you compete all these years and you are true definition of an amazing human being on and off the court. Even RF's Retirement Speech will become one of the Greatest Retirement Speeches of All Time! You will be missed, Roger!!

"I am 41 years old. I have played more than 1500 matches over 24 years. Tennis has treated me more generously than I ever would have dreamt, and now I must recognize when it is time to end my competitive career.”- 20 time Grand Slam champion Roger Federer who announced his retirement from tennis"- Roger Federer

 

Notes

-Karthik Gurumurthy

 

Lessons

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Gratitude

-Karthik Gurumurthy

 

Notes to myself

-Karthik Gurumurthy

 

Integrity

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Integrity is the most attractive aspect of a human being. When you truly display integrity in all your relationship, you are undisputable. Never manipulate people for any reason. True leadership and integrity go hand in hand.

Focus

-Karthik Gurumurthy

When you focus on the "Problems", your "Goal" will stop appearing, and

when you focus on the "Goal", your "problems" will stop appearing.

The Sun is shining on the day so brightly so your day is  also going to shine the same way. Let us focus on the right stuff.

Pro

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Pro is the amateur who showed up every day. 

No one is born a pro.

Pro is the amateur who embraced the process.

Pro is the amateur who chose practice and sleep over binge watching

Pro is the amateur who worked worked even they had zero audience

 

Happy Guru Purnima!!

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Thank you to parents, teachers, students, colleagues  for showing the light every step of the way.

50th Wedding Anniversary

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Happy 50th Anniversary to Dad and Mom. Cannot thank them enough for everything you have done and continue to do for us. All the good things that Aravind and I have gotten is all because of your Blessings and Prayers. We are so thankful that we were born to the most amazing parents. 

Let go

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Continuing where I left off yesterday, I feel so many of us spend countless hours or weeks, in some sad cases, years, trying to make someone who want  them to be or to do what we think  is in their own best interests, only to repeatedly fail in our attempts. This is a tragedy as well as misspent life. It's time to let go.

One of the close family members was not taking time to take care of their parents.  They were so much obsessed  with their own life and health and didn't see that it is their duty to take care of them. My wife and I tried our best to convey this  message last year to take this as priority and act on it.  What happened? One of their parents unfortunately passed away few months back. 

Wasn't it my job to guide a close family 's decisions and actions? I always thought not doing so was so selfish and uncaring. 

Thankfully what I finally learning slowly is, be it a close family member, be it your own spouse or strangers crossing our paths, must be who they are, not who we they think they should be. 

They must make their own mistakes and through what they learn, have reason to celebrate their own successes.

There are many reasons for letting go of this futile behavior, but the most important ones are they we will never succeed in controlling others and never experience peace in our own lives if we are always focussed on how other people are living or how we think they should be living. If we want to be peaceful, we must let go of how others choose to live and take care of business in one life only: our own.

Just as no one else can productively be the total focus of our lives, we cannot waste precious time thinking we are or should be the center of someone else's life either. This may come as a blow to our ego, but it is time to learn this important truth. 

This does not mean we should quit interacting with people or shut them out in order to preempt being shut out. Nor does it mean we should ignore how other people are thinking and behaving for fear we will seeek an unhealthy dependency on them.

I find observing others can be edifying and enlightening. It simply means getting perspective on our role  in all interactions and understanding  where our responsibility ends and the other person's begins. Becoming entangled in other people's actions, dreams, or dramas binds us to them in emotionally unhealthy ways and prevents the growth we deserve. 

We want people around us who will pay us constant attention, who will make no plans that don't include us, have no thoughts that aren't shared. But that's not relationship, that's dependence; it is unholy connection. Relationships that truly bring us to peace are interdependent.  As we are celebrating the independence day of USA, it is time to let go of the dependence of our happiness with other entities. Happy July 4th, USA

 

 

 

Control the controllables

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Lot of us have acquired the habit of interfering in other's people affairs.  When I observe close family members not taking care of parents, spouses, and going totally in the wrong direction, I feel tempted to call and give them advice as if they are going to listen to me and make changes.  Obsessively watching the behavior of friends, siblings, family members or even complete strangers and longing to change or control their behavior, is a great catalyst for inner turmoil. This goes hand in hand with the misguided idea that we can change anyone but ourselves. One can spend years trying to change a spouse or some other friend, but what a relief to finally learn that the affairs of others are not ours to control or even to judge. 

I am realizing that the child we parent have their own journey to make, and our so-called  control over them is, in fact, an illusion. We can set  an example  for them, we can suggest a set of behaviors , we can demonstrate a code of ethics, we can even require that they live by a certain "house rules" while under our roof, but finally  it is they who will decide who they want to be and what they want to do, regardless of our efforts.  And for that we will become grateful in time. 

I say: Let's celebrate the fact that we are in charge of noone but ourselves. It relieves us of a heavy burden, and a thankless job, one that never blesses us. Taking control of every thought we have and every action we take, and being willing to relinquish the past while savoring the present, will assuredly keep us as busy as we need to be. Doing these things, and only these things is why we are here. It's only when we live our own lives and manage our own business, freeing others to do the same, that we will find the peace we seek and so deserve.

Leadership Culture

-Karthik Gurumurthy

In my twenty plus work experience, I have had the opportunity to work with amazing organizations and great leaders. What I have observed with the top leaders is they focus primarily on the growth and well being of the team and the communities to which they belong.  They always put the needs of others first and help their people develop and perform at a very high level. 

I have also witnessed  so called  average positional leaders sharing lofty big dreams but doesn't necessarily back it up with the action/ strategy to make that happen. To develop leaders, one needs to start from the ground-up.  What separates average companies from the great ones is their ability to build a leadership culture through out their organization that cultivates great leaders.

"a true leader is not the one with the most followers but the one who creates the most leaders."

-Neale Donald Walsch

 

 

Employee Engagement

-Karthik Gurumurthy

CFO asks CEO:  "What happens if  we invest in developing our people and then they leave us?"

CEO: "What happens if we don't and they stay?"

"Train people well enough so they can leave. Treat them well enough so they don't want to."- Sir Richard Branson

 

Rocketry

-Karthik Gurumurthy

So glad I went with my family to watch this wonderful movie on the  first day of movie release(It is actually first day first show).  Totally worth it and more.

#RocketryTheFilm #RocketryTheNambiEffect is an Amazing Achievement by @ActorMadhavan and his team on the life of legendary rocket scientist #NambiNarayanan . What a great tribute !  #Maddy lived the role & deserves all appreciation. Kudos Team 🏆🤠💐

 

Earned life

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Marshall Goldsmith imparts a powerful guide for anyone seeking a higher purpose in their personal and professional life.

Goldsmith draws on his experience as a world-renowned executive coach to provide practical advice and exercises aimed at helping readers live a life aligned with their overarching purpose, regardless of the eventual outcome.

Taking inspiration from Buddhism, Goldsmith reveals that the key to living an earned life, unbound by regret, requires committing to a habit of earning and connecting that habit to something greater than the isolated achievements of careerism.

With illuminating stories from Goldsmith's legendary career, this book provides a roadmap for ambitious people seeking to close the gap between what they plan to achieve and what they actually get done, and to avoid the trap of existential regret that reroutes destinies and persecutes memories.

Overthinking

-Karthik Gurumurthy

“The biggest disease of the mind is over-thinking, especially too much thinking about others: What they did, what they should do, what they should have done, what they said, what you wished they had said, why they spoke at all. All of these rob the mind of its inherent serenity.

Thinking too much is like eating too much. The heaviness makes it impossible to remain light and flexible. We get stuck on little things and gradually the little things become huge things which we cannot shake off. Often when we think too much we fantasise and overreact. Thus we create negative feelings.”

Evaluating your actions

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Practice emotional detachment in everything in your life.  Pause for a minute and evaluate if you really want to spend that energy in reacting. This includes all the emotions. We are manipulated by the society to react in a certain way over a period of time, most of the times if you evaluate,  it is not your natural reaction. It  has evolved over a period of time. If you look carefully at a child you will understand the natural emotional state of a human being. Observe the behavior of few children as a sample and identify the pattern. That's the natural human behavior. All our behaviors are social reactions and it is actually not serving the purpose of making us high performers. As you are constantly manipulating your emotions, your are cheating your own self. So you are in a failure mindset throughout the day as you are forced to behave in a certain way.

The sad part is you don't know that this is happening. It all happens in a matter of microseconds. To overcome this and become a high performer and express your true self, you need to have complete awareness over your reactions and emotions. Pause. Stay neutral without reacting and react only when you mean to. It will be tough to start, but over a period of time you will master it. Neutral, dumb, no reaction face is OK. Many won't accept your new way of life, don't fall prey to them. It is again a societal norms to carry a smiling face. Neutral is real. When you are born you actual cried. When you are peacefully sleeping your face is neutral. When you are very productive your face is neutral. And lot more. Think before you act.

Often

-Karthik Gurumurthy

"Often in life, we forget the things we should remember,

and remember the things we should forget."

 

Living the best life

-Karthik Gurumurthy

The most convincing sign that someone is truly living their best life, is their lack of desire to show the world that they're living their best life. Your best life won't seek validation.

 

Dysfunctional Leadership

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Not everyone is meant for everything. It's completely OK to tell no to things that doesn't makes sense to you. Actually it's a strength if you identify things that doesn't interest you. You will understand everything that is happening around it doesn't mean you have to do all of that. You understand them because of your common sense.  That's all. So step back, focus on things that you love the most and allow the rest to be taken care by others. No hard feelings.Keep on Keeping on..

Light year('s) ahead

-Karthik Gurumurthy

This Solar Car is called LightYear 0, you don't have to charge it for 7 months... This will be game changer for locations like Madras where I grew up and places like California/Phoenix that has Sun all around the year. Incredible!!

Picture Courtesy: LightYear.One

Journey is the Reward

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Found this insightful short story in "Happiness Trap" by Dr. Russ Harris.

A mother decides to take her two kids to a fantastic Zoo which happens to be 2 hours drive. One kid has only one aim: to get to the zoo as fast as possible. All the way there he's sitting on the edge of the seat, in a constant frustration, every few minutes whining "Are we there yet?" " I am bored". "How much longer?"

Second kid has two aims: to get to the zoo as fast as possible and to appreciate the journey. So, this second kid is looking out the window noticing all the fields full of cows and sheep, watching in fascination at the giant trucks and waving at friendly pedestrians.

Now, if the car breaks down half-way and the kids never reach the zoo, then which kid had more rewarding journey? and if the car makes it to zoo, both kids will have a great reward - but still, only one of them has enjoyed the journey.

Living in the moment, appreciating where we are rather than focusing where we are not is the key to avoid happiness trap.

Shine light on others

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Job market trends

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Current generation job market is better than what it used to be a decade ago.

If you are ready to learn and present yourself truly, you will get a job. No one questions your gap, or relevant experience. All people see is the attitude towards work and people. Most companies evaluate people at mindset level than skill set.

Upskill, build network, truly learn and stay humble. You will end up being relevant your whole life.

Just be Happy

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Never link your state of happiness to anything. Being happy is a separate entity. If your actions and results defines that, it will be manipulated by others and you will end up not being happy. Just be Happy, for no reasons with no strings attached.

 

Continuous learning

-Karthik Gurumurthy

If you expect your team to implement continuous learning as a behavior, you must exhibit the behavior first. Always lead by example. This includes everything, from professionalism to integrity to passion to everything.

Good news

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Happy to hear from Koustuv that  Soham got into Caltech!! Yay!! Way to go Soham!!..Watch out for this guy..

Stop Judging people

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Don't waste time by judging people. Everyone behaves a certain way because they like doing so. That's all. Don't wear a Sherlock hat and start investigating every behavior and come up with theories to prove someone right or wrong. It's called waste of time.

Subramanian Ramamurthy Uncle- Om Shanthi

-Karthik Gurumurthy

An absolute blessing to have had the privilege of meeting this amazing Uncle in Cleveland Thyagaraja Aradhana many many years ago,. Getting to know him and getting connected with  mostly through Facebook. In this world of social media, one of the biggest boons for many of us was to have connected with  Dr. Ramamurthy mama (Uncle)

What is special about this Uncle? 

He is the beacon of light who uplifted our spirits everyday with Facebook posting, always with positive messages that made everyone feel that he is family and that he is genuinely and truly caring for us, cheering for us, comforting us, complimenting us.He made every single person in his presence feel that they were the most important person to him. He treated everyone around him with unmatched kindness, affection and love. He was very proud of Kallidaikuruchi, where he hailed from. He was a connoisseur of all genres of music, South Indian cooking and English literature (a Great PG Wodehouse fan!!)

It is amazing to see the spectrum of his friends in facebook, ranging all the way from the most eminent of artists to a little girl who did her first classical dance in stage who looked forward to meet dear Ramamurthy Mama.

 

Each and everyone of his friends waited with anticipation for a happy post from mama to uplift their spirit everyday. He certainly made a positive influence everyday. His love for people was unconditional and the kindness that used to ooze out of him was immense. No wonder God loves to have such people closer to him at the earliest and he is no more with us.. Praying for the departed soul and condolences to the near and dear ones..

 

Only few are blessed to live a life like mama, where everyone who know him feel so empty and lost today. Mama lit up every up gatherings, can talk to people of any age group on any topic - always helping, smiling - I can go on and on. None can match mama's charisma and personality. I am in disbelief and devastated. He got married the same day (and the year) my parents got married (July 12). Was always the first one to comment about my blogs and wish me on my B'day.  How are we supposed to go on without you dearest Mama .. the excruciating pain of losing you feels very much akin to having lost my own dad for you always extended that unconditional love to each and every one of us just like a dad would. With a very very laden heart we all bid our adieu to you .Will take a break from Facebook  for sometime ...

 

What I have learnt from Uncle is how to unconditionally  love everyone without expecting anything in return.  Om Shanthi Uncle..This will take sometime for me to digest...

 

National Merit Scholarship Qualifying Test (NMSQT)

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Found out from Yamuna that  she just got notified that she is an NMSQT Finalist...Yay!! Very delighted for her.Happy!! Thankful!!

Your connections

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Understand that every person who has shown up in your life arrived to help you become the person you are currently now.

Asking Questions

-Karthik Gurumurthy

“The fool wonders, the wise man asks”

The above quote is from former British Prime Minister, Benjamin Disraeli. For me, its closest modern equivalent is, “The only stupid question is an unasked question.”

While I prefer the more elegant phrasing of Mr. Disraeli, I applaud the sentiment behind both. Even though at times it can be brutally difficult to admit you don’t know who someone is, what something is, how to pronounce something, how to do something, etc, you stand a far better chance of being well thought of—and, more importantly, learning something new—if you’re willing to ask the question.

Given this, what are some things you can do to feel more comfortable asking questions?

• First: Don’t confuse ignorance with stupidity. Just because you don’t know how to conjugate French verbs or tie a half hitch slipknot doesn’t mean you don’t have mastery of numerous other skill sets and bodies of information.

• Second: Point two flows naturally from point one: don’t apologize for your ignorance. We all tend to do this and it doesn’t serve us, or our listener. Instead, it diverts attention from getting the question answered into massaging one another’s egos. Stay on task; just ask the question. If your listener expresses surprise at your not knowing, don’t feed into it. Agree and add, “Yes, I don’t know. Can you tell me?”

• Third: Remember that everyone loves being an authority. While your boss or your colleague or your date may be surprised by your not knowing something in the moment, this will quickly be superseded by the satisfaction of getting to be the authority.

Our Brain

-Karthik Gurumurthy

The most precious space is not the land you have but it is your brain. Do not waste it by polluting it with unnecessary thoughts and outdated information. Use it wisely.

The image build-up

-Karthik Gurumurthy

As a kid you were enjoying life as you did not associate ourselves with any  image or identity. As you grew you started enjoying the image that you created. Later you wanted more of it. In the pursuit of the identity you lost all the enjoyment in life.

Lose your image. Become null in your head. Enjoy life. The heavy lifting that you are doing right now is temporary and you will retire. People will forget you. Don't look back and feel bad.

You can do your job with 100% efficiency without mentally associating yourself with stuff that boosts your ego. Do and move on.

Good news!

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Found out  today that Amita Satish (who got an outstanding score in SAT last year) got accepted in Purdue and UTexas, Austin for Electrical Engineering (Fall 2022)...Always driven, setting high standards of excellence this is no surprise at all. Wishing her outstanding success and more good news to follow from Amita..Watch out for Amita! She has not only big dreams but an amazing work ethic to make her dreams happen! Fortunate, Blessed and honored to work with these kids!!

Happy News to start the New Year 2022

-Karthik Gurumurthy

What a way to start the New Year !!Found out that my student Joshua Oommen (who aced the  MCATs last year) got accepted at Loma Linda University for Med School. So happy for him!! It is wonderful to observe this kid from high school days to take the journey of Med School student. I can already visualize him extremely successful in his chosen field and lead a  life of significance. 

I am extremely thankful to work with lot of talented kids over the last 20 + years  but there are few who stand out and make you feel like million bucks because your paths crossed. That's the kind of feeling you get when you work with Joshua. I wish him outstanding success in his chosen journey.

Finishing meeting early

-Karthik Gurumurthy

In a world when you can be anything, be the person who ends the meeting early. Whatever you want to say it, say it quickly like a twitter message. Like my dad always used to quote "Brevity is the soul of wit"..Shorter the meeting, sweeter and happier everyone is..

What's your worth?

-Karthik Gurumurthy

A father, before he died, said to his son:

“This is the watch your grandfather gave me and this is more than 200 years old.

Before I give it to you go to the watch shop on the first street, and tell him I want to sell it, and ask how much they offer”.

The son went and after several minutes, he came back to his father and said, "The watchmaker offers to pay $5 because it's old and has a lot of scratches.” He then asked him to go to the coffee shop.

The son went and after an hour or so, he came back and said: “The coffee shop owner offers $5, father.”

“Go to the antique museum estimator and show that watch”. He went ahead and then came back happily. “They offered me a million dollars for this piece.”

The father said: “I wanted to let you know that the right place values your value in a way right, don't put yourself in the wrong place and get angry if you get treated like crap. Those who know your value are the ones who appreciate you, don't ever stay in a place that doesn't suit you."

Make sure you know your worth and don't sell yourself short.

Bring your A game

-Karthik Gurumurthy

If you are dull all the time, your talent will be forgotten and people won't collaborate with you. In a professional environment the accountabilities are handed over to only those who are high on energy and extremely active. You are measured based on the rate at which you bring positive ambience to your surrounding. So put back yourself together before entering your workspace no matter what is happening in your life.

Collaboration

-Karthik Gurumurthy

If someone reaches out to you for guidance, it doesn't mean they don't know and you know. It is more of thought partnering. Set the tone right. Don't allow scenarios to boost your ego. Collaboration and progress is the key to happy life.

Learning from mistakes

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Everyone makes mistakes; it would be small-minded to think you can’t make one. We learn more from screwing up than we do from anything else. When you think (or you know) you have failed, take some time to think. What did I learn? What will I do differently next time? How can I make better decisions in the future.

Rookie Mentality

-Karthik Gurumurthy

The one thing that kept me going all these years is to begin everyday like it’s my first day at work and never stop learning!

‘Every individual I meet is an inspiration and Everyday is a new opportunity, to try something new, to learn, to evolve…’

It has been a great journey so far and it’s time for the clock to reset and start all over again!

Habit of reading books

-Karthik Gurumurthy

How to get good at reading books?

Start one page a day. Yes only one page not two even if you could. Then make it two pages a day in a week's time. Then three pages a day after three more days. Then four pages a day. At this point of time, increase it by additional page every day. Eventually you will end up reading 50 to 100 pages a day in less than 6 months.

Habit stacking works.  Make reading paired with any existing habit. Like I'll read before going to bed or immediately after waking up, or after breakfast etc.

Happy New Year 2022

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Happy New Year! As we adapt to the possibilities that the coming months may bring, let’s make 2022 the best year of the decade thus far. Thankful to all of you who have been reading/commenting to me in person with your thoughts for the last 20 years. Please continue to share your views. #Thankful #Grateful

Graceful Entry, Graceful Exit

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Work in silence and leave in silence. Success didn't necessarily need to make any noise. Feeling successful is a mindset and not an external acknowledgment. High performers work for themselves and do not expect anything in return. They leave. They will be missed. Graceful entry, graceful exit.

Delighted

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Delighted to hear Arjun Vikram who got a perfect score in ACT (36!!) got accepted in Stanford!!   Congrats Arjun!!

Happy and Thankful

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Happy and thankful to hear Arjun Malik ( who got 1540 SAT score) got admitted to NYU Stern Business school for Fall 2022.  I am not surprised though. He  constantly worked hard on improving himself (be it Math or Golf!). Hardwork never fails. Wishing him outstanding success in his new journey.

No Credits

-Karthik Gurumurthy

For peaceful life, accept that you are not permanent; in the job, in the mood, in the status.  Moreover in life. you will leave. Never try to create a name tagged to a legacy. Create legacy if you wish to, but work without credits. We still don't know the person who invented wheel. Stay away from name and credits. If it is forced upon you, accept it with grace and move on. Never link yourself with any awards, designations, rewards or anything.