Striving towards Excellence

Why are we like this?

-Karthik Gurumurthy

 

It has been more than three months since I landed here. This is the longest I have stayed in India after I moved to US of A for graduate school. Over the years, my trips to India has always been like hit-and-run operation where I just land, attend a wedding,  pilgrimage visits , landmark bookstore and then head back to US. That was always the case until this trip.

Having had the opportunity and the time to observe what has changed/ what remained the same over the years, it gave me some time to reflect on few things.

Most of my compatriots talk about how incomes have changed over the years where they can afford BMWs, Audis. It is true that incomes/ cost of living/ comfort level has changed over the years. More time is spent on convenience than haggling. What has not changed over the years and Why?

Sometimes when I bring this topic up, my local friends here sometimes gets defensive and shoot this remark, "Karthik, you are an American..You guys would come here and make statements. You have no idea what idea what we go through here?" It is true that I don't live here any more. I am not comparing US to India or vice versa and making conclusion out of that. Both the countries have the merits and demerits which one can learn from. It is definitely not about that at all.  Consider me as a global citizen trying to figure out why things are the way they are. What can we do to make it a better place to live in?

To give you an instance, two months back I traveled by train from Chennai Egmore to Vaitheeswaran temple which is our Kula Deivam.  For people who don't know what Kuladeivam means, Kuladeivam is a deity that has been in the worship by the ancestors of a dynasty or family for several generations. Anyways, during the train ride, I was nibbling a snack (probably biscuit or something) and after finishing the whole packet of biscuits, I was saving whatever was left like the wrapper in a zip-loc bag in my shirt pocket. I did the same at later point of time for another snack. The gentleman who was sitting next to me who was noticing all this, quietly came next to me and made a statement "Aren't you from US, Am I right?". Surprised by his statement, I asked him how he came up with that.  Without blinking an eye, he responded, " You guys all think keeping the trash to yourself will make India clean. It can and it will never happen. " As he was telling me this he was finishing his bag of nuts held in the newspaper and threw the newspaper out of window quietly. It made me wonder how we as a community can brag about how smart we are and how we can be dumb in public. Why do we lack the sense of public hygiene? From the brief chatting, I found out later that the person is highly educated and works in one of the reputed global IT companies making sizeable income. How can we address this issue?

I am not complaining, condemning or criticizing about the current system. How can we change for better? If we are advancing in so many areas, how do we lack this basic sense of hygiene?

To solve any problem, the first thing to do is to accept and embrace the truth. We have to admit that there is something fundamentally wrong with our mindset in the grassroot level.

All of us collect our trash everyday. We have an option of walking to the nearest neighborhood dump where we can drop it off or we can drop it in the street when no one is paying attention. Any sane person would admit that walking little bit more to drop off that dump is the right thing to do in the interest of city as a whole. Yet, personally, it seems such a waste of time, considering that the streets are anyway dirty and the trash of one household is not going to contribute to make much of a difference to the overall sanitation of the city. The sad part is majority thinks in the same way which has a compounding effect resulting in huge garbage of a country of billion + people.

I regularly use auto rickshaw service to get to place and I notice a common pattern. While waiting in line for the signal to turn green, majority of them decide to jump red light and it seems to get ahead of others and make life easier. What does it tell about them? They are privately smart, but then as others  are no less rational, intelligent and smart, everyone start squealing for the same reasons and before we know it, we have unruly traffic, filthy streets, public urinals. And then we complain about a dirty country, a polluted city and appalling traffic which clearly shows we are dumb collectively.

Why sacrifice one's self-interest for the sake of community when one can throw away the trash or jump a red light without any fear of retribution? Maybe fear of punishment can make us be conscientous.

But  how are we going to implement that?  In Singapore, they are strict about enforcing the rules and they are quite successful doing it. Now in the grassroot level, people are extremely cautious and clean which is what is needed here. It was relatively an easier task considering the fact Singapore is lot smaller than India. 

Another observation: I have used the MRTS train to get around the city. It is hard to believe that such a new route with well planned granite structure do not have proper lighting. I can smell of urine the moment I enter the station...How is that possible? These are things that need to be addressed and taken care of.

I had a vision for future where I was able to visualize cashflow from my business which can provide enough money for the Mandaveli MRTS station. I can visualize  the station being well lit, all the bathrooms neat and tidy, and companies in the nearby area can advertise to woo lot of eye balls to their business similar to all the ads in the John Wayne airport, the moment you land there.The advertisements should be able to generate enough cashflow whereby the cleanliness can  be reinforced and severe penalty should be imposed to people who violate these rules. I know it is easier said than done, but all it takes handful of entrepreneurs making the decision to step ahead and make it a reality. There are just handful of stations and if  all the entrepreneurs takes the initiative to do that, it will surely add tremendous value to the city.

This success story can inspire more people to take the initiative which will result in compound effect for better. It starts with the individual writing/reading this blog (me) taking the step to be really clean, accountable and conscientous. Once the example is set, there will be enough people to follow and duplicate the right things. Like Gandhiji said, let us all be the change which we would like to see in the World.

Applied Knowledge and Authenticity

-Karthik Gurumurthy

What can we do from our side to be more authentic or trust worthy? 

Let us look at the traits of people whom we readily trust.

You've likely heard or even made this comment about someone:

" So and So really knows her stuff!"  Shobana made this statement yesterday about a physician whom we met yesterday. What do we really mean when we make that statement? 

Usually, it means that someone has positively impressed us with their knowledge, and likely, their ability to apply that knowledge. " Knowiing your stuff" means becoming knowledgeable, skilled, and making a commitment to doing our best in whatever you do. When you know your stuff, it is so much easier to be authentic because you are confident in what you know and do.

Parents are more credible when they have educated themselves on the value of making thoughtful decisions about raising kids, and then applying a consistent approach to raising those kids, and then applying a consistent approach to raising those kids. Physicians are more credible when they continue to seek knowledge and information on advancements in medical practices and are able to help patients to take advantage of the most current and valid information. A friend is more credible when he/she understands what a friend is in need of, and consciously seeks to provide that for the friend.

What is the bottomline?

Authenticity begins with doing whatever we do regularly with a strong commitment to becoming the best whatever we can be for that time, place and situation.

Last year of your life

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Somebody tells you that you have less than a year to live.What would be your reaction?

Your instant reaction is shock..isn’t it?

If you are to believe a large amount of people that statement is true. Books have been written about it and a really bad movie made over 200 million dollars promoting the idea. Many believe that the world will end this December 21st on the Winter Solstice. This is a Mayan prophecy. It has also been said it’s not the end just the beginning of a new shift in the Universe. Still others have said the date has been misread and it won’t happen until the following year in 2013. Who really knows?

Bottom line is, if it were true what would you do? Would you be proud of the life you have lived to date? Have you contributed to the world in a positive way? What have you accomplished and what have you put off?

Perhaps a good idea would be to pretend that this is it. Your last year. If you knew for sure wouldn’t you live your days differently? If you can say no then good for you! If not, why not start to carve out a year you could be proud of. Look at how you spend your time. Who you surround yourself with and how you fill your soul. Do you read the great works and the biographies of amazing people or do fill your head with pages of National Enquirer? Are you wishing you were living someone else’s life or are you creating a life you will be proud of?

If this was the end, perhaps you should make this year a great start!

Trust factor Part III: In-built antennae

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Continuing on the trust factor, what are all the other factors which builds/destroys trust?

All of us know someone who has had a tendency to brag or enlarge the truth on a regular basis. One of the leaders I used to follow gave a powerful speech.  It was powerful. I can tell his style of delivery was impeccable, passionate. Towards the end of his speech, he quoted Rudyard Kipling(RK)'s If and  instead of giving credit to RK, he said he wrote it. My jaws dropped instantly and I was embarrassed to say the least. This person, over time loses credibility with people. Usually, this person is someone you would not describe as authentic or real.  Over time, you are likely to lose trust in anything this person says. Indeed, this person will definitely lose personal credibility as a result of this behavior. What is going on with the person?

The person most likely wants others to see him or her in a way that is different than what he/she believes about him/herself. One of my business coaches always used to tell " Express, but don't try to impress." If someone does this kind of bragging, your reaction will be , "If you can't be sincere and honest in what you say or how you share information, I can't trust you. You brag and enlarge the truth. You aren't for real. And if I can't trust you, I don't want a close relationship with you."  Ultimately the person has lost personal credibility because he/she has lost your trust.

Another group of people I find it difficult to trust are stiff  or somewhat stilted in their communication with me. It is difficult to get a sense of who this person really is. These are individuals who are likely to open up very little to anyone and reveals little about themselves. They keep everyone at arm's length-almost if there is a wall surrounding them. The result is that others find it difficult  to trust someone who is so unwilling to demonstrate openness and authenticity. The fence they have developed has created a distance with others, decreases trust, and, ultimately, decreases the opportunity for this person to building lasting trusting relationship with them.  Others will say "If you don't trust me to enough to be sincere and open, I really can't trust you either." Without trust from others, the individual loses credibility.

When someone behaves in a way that makes sense to us and inspires to trust him/her as being authentic and real, that person increases personal credibility. And the opposite is true as well. When we interact with someone who is unwilling or unable to be sincere or authentic, we lose trust.

Karthik, how do you know all of this? 

Some of it is by observation from other people. I am guilty for some of these and just like the title of my webpage says, "Striving for Excellence", I am trying to learn from my mistakes and so that I can learn from it and others can benefit from it as well.

I am currently in India and having a chance to observe more people, I am realizing how so many people are oblivious to their blind spots. For some of the people, blind spots can be blind zones. I am thankful to God for making me identify and rectify my blunders so that I can learn from them.

When someone is transparent, we can see through it. Nothing is hidden, no barriers exist, and nothing is covered up. When someone is transparent, we know that we are seeing the 'true' person. But transparency is more than being truthful- it is being truthful in a way that others can easily detect. When someone is transparent, and clearly demonstrates behaviors that others value and trust, personal credibility is much more easily achieved. The opportunity to be transparent and authentic is there for every human on earth.

All of us have an inbuilt antennae wherein we can interact with someone briefly and determine the person's  sincerity, authenticity and comfort with simply being themselves.

Individuals who possess strong personal credibility have an authenticity about them that is detectable. One such person who can think of immediately is my wife "Shobana". She gives an  "I am who I am impression to others." Typically, the more transparent people are, the less inclined they are at trying to impress others. Now, this doesn't mean they don't care about others or the impact they have on them-it is quite the opposite. It means simply that the focus is not on, "What are you thinking of me?' but instead on, "How can I better know and understand you?'.

People who are transparent in a positive and genuine way are typically self-accepting.  They understand that they are imperfect beings. They know they mess up, make mistakes and don't have all the answers, They are strong enough to accept this, and then go about the process of living their life by internally acknowledging imperfections and challenges- and learning from them.

Let us all do that as the bottomline for all relationships is trust. People love to have relationships with people whom they trust and respect. People love to build businesses whom they have trust. Let us work on these and make it happen!

The 'Trust Factor'

-Karthik Gurumurthy

I am enjoying the time in India serving my parents and thankful to God for giving me an opportunity to be with them during these times. Thankfully, I am blessed with an opportunity to teach couple of wonderful students from US during the night time (using Skype). After I am done with the sessions around midnight, I am all fresh and up. During this time it gives me an opportunity to ponder upon few things which had been in my mind for sometime.

Essentially it revolves around the topic of  'Trust'. How important is Trust in a relationship, in a business or in general life. What gives credibility to someone?

When others believe, trust and have confidence in you, you instantly receive their respect meaning you have credibility with them. When you are respected, your self-worth and confidence increases. When you receive respect- from both yourself and others- you are both self-accepting. Self-acceptance allows you to be just yourself, which increases authenticity. When you are genuine, others instinctively believe and trust in you more.

But wait a minute..Is trust based on the type of person that you are, or is it based on the types of things you do?

If you think about it, the only way we can assess people is from our observations of what they do.

To give you an instance, few weeks back my parents had ordered an inverter (An inverter is an instrument which helps you to operate few of your electrical appliances in the event of an electrical power shutdown so that you can operate appliances such as light or fan etc.). The guy who came to our place for installing talked to us as if he is genuine. After he left we found out, he installed an older equipment which didn't have warranty. Anyway long story short, we found that the guy was a phony (even though he looked genuine). His actions showed what he was really made up of. There are two things which are really vital to understand. Character and reputation. Character is what you are and reputation is what other people think of you. Most people worry about reputation than character. 

Actions speak louder than words. It is what people do that forms our opinions, relationships and ultimate decisions of whether to trust and respect them. Our impressions, thoughts, and opinions are constantly being formed and reformed, most often in our subconscious. Although, we might be unaware of it, we stay in constant "observer" mode with those around us, and they say in the same mode observing us! We might not always have all the facts, and our observations might change over time, but regardless it is still the only information on which we have to base our thoughts and opinions of others. For this reason, it is what people do that determines our belief, respect and trust in them- it what we all do that determines our credibility.

Why is this important? At our very core, we want to know who can trust and respect- and we want to receive the same trust and respect from others. However, we are living in a world where it is becoming more and more difficult to discern who deserves our trust and respect. Headlines and TV news are filled with stories of troubled organizations, sports personalities, political leaders for misleading the public. Consequently we find ourselves wondering if personal credibility with public figures is only something of the past. On a more personal level, family, friends and coworkers violate our trust and lose credibility as a result. Most people- regardless of whether they are in the public spotlight-don't intentionally choose a life of being disbelieved, mistrusted and disrespected.

The true reality is that trust either occurs or is damaged due to ongoing decisions we make and behaviors we demonstrate.

For most of us, there is an inherent need to be valued and respected by others, while at the same time, to be comfortable and confident in being who we authentically are. We want to live a life that causes others to say: " Karthik Gurumurthy- now that is someone with  credibility or someone I can always trust!' We all don't experience that type of life though. The great news is this :We all can experience greater personal credibility- if we are willing to take sometime to  honestly evaluate ourselves, look at our own actions and behaviors, and build some new habits. More on this tomorrow.  Good night.

Friday "Fun"damentals: Confidence

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Friday evening was fun. Since it was a long weekend, we actually had PASE potluck. PASE stands for Product Awareness System Education. To start off the evening, we had all our associates who are in the hunt share what worked well and what didn't in the last couple of weeks. This kind of sharing gave all of us the takehome message about what areas we need to work on. After the discussion, I found one common ingredient with all the people who are getting ahead. What is that?

It is confidence!

Without confidence, nothing great gets done. Sure you can have a gorgeous vision and delicious goals that set your heart aflutter. But if you don’t have the confidence to take the action steps needed to move it all forward, the dreaming has been a waste of time; great ideas without the confidence to breathe life into them through near-flawless execution are mere fantasies. And fantasies don’t lead to great businesses.

I do believe that one of the jobs of a Leader is to grow the confidence of the people who are climbing towards the mountaintop with him (along with your own self – faith). Your job is to remind people of all they are – and everything they are meant to be. Do it with words. Do it with thank you notes. Do it with kind gestures and other thoughtful rewards (behavior that is rewarded is behavior that is repeated). Be a person who builds the confidence of everyone who intersects with your daily path. I guess what I’m trying to say is that – to genuinely lead – make it a priority to help people believe. In their potential. In their talents. In their selves.

I was inspired to see my friend Hemang Parikh shining so brightly. His confidence was contagious. He made us all feel we could be great. And confidence is like that. Once one person feels it, he passes it on – making everyone feel better.

What keeps you going?

-Karthik Gurumurthy

I heard this story recently and it is worth sharing..

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the water close to Japan has not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population,  fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring the fish.  If the return trip took more time, the fish were not fresh.  To solve this problem, fish companies installed freezers on their boats.  They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea.  Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen fish. And they did not like the taste of frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks.  They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, they were tired, dull, and lost their fresh-fish taste. The fishing industry faced an impending crisis!But today, they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan.

How did they manage? To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks but with a small shark.

The fish are challenged and hence are constantly on the move. The challenge they face keeps them alive and fresh!

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired and dull?

Basically in our lives, sharks are new challenges to keep us active. If you are steadily conquering challenges, you are happy. Your challenges keep you energized. Don’t create success and revel in it in a state of inertia. You have the resources, skills and abilities to make a difference. Don't avoid challenges, embrace them. Put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!

Is your past=future?

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Sometimes life throws curve balls at you where you are not sure how it is going to be. Past=Future only if you do not change.

The philosopher Schopenhauer once observed: “most people take the limits of their vision to be the limits of the world. A few do not. Join them.” Great Statement. The life you see this very moment isn’t necessarily the life of your future. You might be viewing things through the eyes of your fears, limitations and false assumptions. Once you clean up the stained glass window you see the world through, guess what? A whole new set of possibilities appear. Remember, we see the world not as it is but as we are. That idea changed my life. Whenever I go through stuff or when I am going through stuff, that is what I remind myself that this won't be permanent.

Years ago, it was believed that no human being could ever break the 4 minute mile barrier. But after Roger Bannister broke it, many more replicated his feat within weeks. Why? Because he showed people what was possible. And then armed with that belief, people did the impossible.

What’s going to be your “4 minute mile”? What bill of goods have you sold yourself as to what’s impossible? What false assumptions are you making in terms of what you cannot have, do and be? Your thinking creates your reality. If you think something cannot occur in your life, then there’s no way you will take the action required to make that goal a reality. Your “impossibility thinking” becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your perceived limitations become the chains that keep you from the greatness you were meant to be. The difference between somebody who gets it done and somebody who is a victim of circumstances is the possibility thinking and the action to get it done. Let us get it done so that past does not equal future.

Sense of Urgency

-Karthik Gurumurthy

The last blog was basically dedicated to my aunt whom I had tremendous respect. When I heard about her demise, it struck me like a thunderbolt few things which I would have missed to appreciate in day-to-day rut.

What was the realization?

It’s the people we love most that we take most for granted? Odd isn’t it. It’s easy to spend less time with your family because they will always be there for you (or so you assume). It’s easy to put off expressing your love to your loved ones because there seems to be no urgency at play. It’s easy to let home relationships slip because you assume there are more pressing things to deal with. But what could possibly be more important than your family? Is there any wisdom in being successful yet alone?

So pick up the phone and tell your parents that you love them. Before you leave to work, give your spouse a kiss-like you mean it. And please please please-hug your kids. Enjoy them while you can-they’ll only be young once. And once that window of opportunity closes-it will be gone forever.

Do everything in your day with a sense of urgency as if it is the last day of your life and you won't regret it.

Unconditional Serving

-Karthik Gurumurthy

I have been approached by students , business associates, friends and family about their challenges and they ask for my advice. After carefully understanding their issue, I give recommendations which might help them in the long run. Then when I observe what they actually did, they did exactly opposite of what I recommended. This used to bug me until I shared with my business coach Bijon.

He said, “Karthik, you are responsible to your audience, but not for them. You are responsible to them to be prepared, to put forth the very best information you can and share it in such a way that it can be effectively utilized. You are responsible to them for that.

“But” he continued, “you are not responsible for them. You cannot control who chooses to use that information and benefit from it. That is up to them.”

What terrific advice. And, I believe it applies to all of us who work with people, regardless of the “audience” whether one-on-one, committee or huge crowd.  I believe that whether we’re talking about products, services, or the solutions designed to help them, the attitude Bijon suggests is a vital part of a successful career. And, for that matter, any type of interpersonal persuasion process. Why? Because…

#1 Attachment Is A big no-no. If we have too much emotion invested in their taking a certain action, it’ll show through, and that person will probably follow the natural human tendency to resist that  which they feel is being pushed upon them.

And…

#2 It Fortifies Us. When we can walk away without emotional attachment to the results, or, what I call “Positive Detachment” (also known as “posture”), it strengthens us when trying to help the next person. And that person might just take our advice.

So, care about helping them, care about serving them, care about providing them value. You are responsible for that part of process. But, don’t get too caught up in the result. You are not responsible, nor can you ethically control their decisions.

Indeed, you are responsible to them…but not for them.