Striving towards Excellence

Why are we like this?

-Karthik Gurumurthy

 

It has been more than three months since I landed here. This is the longest I have stayed in India after I moved to US of A for graduate school. Over the years, my trips to India has always been like hit-and-run operation where I just land, attend a wedding,  pilgrimage visits , landmark bookstore and then head back to US. That was always the case until this trip.

Having had the opportunity and the time to observe what has changed/ what remained the same over the years, it gave me some time to reflect on few things.

Most of my compatriots talk about how incomes have changed over the years where they can afford BMWs, Audis. It is true that incomes/ cost of living/ comfort level has changed over the years. More time is spent on convenience than haggling. What has not changed over the years and Why?

Sometimes when I bring this topic up, my local friends here sometimes gets defensive and shoot this remark, "Karthik, you are an American..You guys would come here and make statements. You have no idea what idea what we go through here?" It is true that I don't live here any more. I am not comparing US to India or vice versa and making conclusion out of that. Both the countries have the merits and demerits which one can learn from. It is definitely not about that at all.  Consider me as a global citizen trying to figure out why things are the way they are. What can we do to make it a better place to live in?

To give you an instance, two months back I traveled by train from Chennai Egmore to Vaitheeswaran temple which is our Kula Deivam.  For people who don't know what Kuladeivam means, Kuladeivam is a deity that has been in the worship by the ancestors of a dynasty or family for several generations. Anyways, during the train ride, I was nibbling a snack (probably biscuit or something) and after finishing the whole packet of biscuits, I was saving whatever was left like the wrapper in a zip-loc bag in my shirt pocket. I did the same at later point of time for another snack. The gentleman who was sitting next to me who was noticing all this, quietly came next to me and made a statement "Aren't you from US, Am I right?". Surprised by his statement, I asked him how he came up with that.  Without blinking an eye, he responded, " You guys all think keeping the trash to yourself will make India clean. It can and it will never happen. " As he was telling me this he was finishing his bag of nuts held in the newspaper and threw the newspaper out of window quietly. It made me wonder how we as a community can brag about how smart we are and how we can be dumb in public. Why do we lack the sense of public hygiene? From the brief chatting, I found out later that the person is highly educated and works in one of the reputed global IT companies making sizeable income. How can we address this issue?

I am not complaining, condemning or criticizing about the current system. How can we change for better? If we are advancing in so many areas, how do we lack this basic sense of hygiene?

To solve any problem, the first thing to do is to accept and embrace the truth. We have to admit that there is something fundamentally wrong with our mindset in the grassroot level.

All of us collect our trash everyday. We have an option of walking to the nearest neighborhood dump where we can drop it off or we can drop it in the street when no one is paying attention. Any sane person would admit that walking little bit more to drop off that dump is the right thing to do in the interest of city as a whole. Yet, personally, it seems such a waste of time, considering that the streets are anyway dirty and the trash of one household is not going to contribute to make much of a difference to the overall sanitation of the city. The sad part is majority thinks in the same way which has a compounding effect resulting in huge garbage of a country of billion + people.

I regularly use auto rickshaw service to get to place and I notice a common pattern. While waiting in line for the signal to turn green, majority of them decide to jump red light and it seems to get ahead of others and make life easier. What does it tell about them? They are privately smart, but then as others  are no less rational, intelligent and smart, everyone start squealing for the same reasons and before we know it, we have unruly traffic, filthy streets, public urinals. And then we complain about a dirty country, a polluted city and appalling traffic which clearly shows we are dumb collectively.

Why sacrifice one's self-interest for the sake of community when one can throw away the trash or jump a red light without any fear of retribution? Maybe fear of punishment can make us be conscientous.

But  how are we going to implement that?  In Singapore, they are strict about enforcing the rules and they are quite successful doing it. Now in the grassroot level, people are extremely cautious and clean which is what is needed here. It was relatively an easier task considering the fact Singapore is lot smaller than India. 

Another observation: I have used the MRTS train to get around the city. It is hard to believe that such a new route with well planned granite structure do not have proper lighting. I can smell of urine the moment I enter the station...How is that possible? These are things that need to be addressed and taken care of.

I had a vision for future where I was able to visualize cashflow from my business which can provide enough money for the Mandaveli MRTS station. I can visualize  the station being well lit, all the bathrooms neat and tidy, and companies in the nearby area can advertise to woo lot of eye balls to their business similar to all the ads in the John Wayne airport, the moment you land there.The advertisements should be able to generate enough cashflow whereby the cleanliness can  be reinforced and severe penalty should be imposed to people who violate these rules. I know it is easier said than done, but all it takes handful of entrepreneurs making the decision to step ahead and make it a reality. There are just handful of stations and if  all the entrepreneurs takes the initiative to do that, it will surely add tremendous value to the city.

This success story can inspire more people to take the initiative which will result in compound effect for better. It starts with the individual writing/reading this blog (me) taking the step to be really clean, accountable and conscientous. Once the example is set, there will be enough people to follow and duplicate the right things. Like Gandhiji said, let us all be the change which we would like to see in the World.

Trust factor: Part IV: The fences we create

Karthik Gurumurthy

In the last entry, I wrote about how the fences we create stops us from being authentic. The moment we lose authenticity we lose credibility.

Sometimes we create invisible fences knowingly or unknowingly. These fences have often been in place for a long time, sometimes a lifetime, and they feel so much a part of us that we honestly don't even realize they are here. There can be many reasons why someone chooses to activate the fences to protect something.  Typically, we build our fences when we lack confidence for some reason.

When we activate our invisible fence, we begin to act in a way that we believe is either more acceptable to others or one that we perceive to be safe-versus being our true and imperfect selves. We learn to trade in our authenticity for acting because we convince ourselves that our act is more acceptable. It can activate in a variety of ways.

A very successful business entrepreneur "Joe" is extremely engaging when interacting with others. He is sociable, humorous, and has very  persuasive communication skills. When first meeting Joe, most people react quickly with, "What a great guy!" He is gifted  at remembering facts about everyone and is impressive with his ability to recall names and facts about people for years! Over time though, people who know him do not describe Joe as being authentic or transparent.  Instead, he tends to send a signal of, "Watch out- I have some ulterior motive for my behavior." After learning more about Joe, many realize that he is inclined to make cruel comments about others behind their backs while simultaneously building their egos to their faces. Those around Joe eventually lose trust in him because he is acting as if he is genuinely interested in others, but his behavior suggests the opposite. Ultimately, others realize that Pete does not demonstrate authenticity- and he loses trust from others.

How about you? Do you struggle with accepting all of you- even the parts you don't really like

Do you believe that others see, know and  accept the "real" you- the one who is blend of positive characteristics along with all your human flaws? Do you spend the majority of your life trying to be better, stronger, happier, smarter, better looking- just more acceptable-than you really believe are? If you believe that you should improve in a certain area- and who doesn't need to do this?-which improvements are you focused most upon? Are you focused upon changing your thinking, your emotions, your heart - or are you focused only on how you can act differently so that you and others will see you in a certain (more acceptable) way? Are there unresolved issues from your past that have caused you to erect this invisible fence? If so, can you honestly say that you have done your part to resolve those differences?

Are you truly authentic- or are you truly just acting? That is the question we have to ask ourselves. I had mentioned in the earlier entry that it is what people do that creates personal credibility which makes people to trust you.  I would like to add one more to that: What you do needs to line up with what you really believe- if it doesn't, then others' inbuilt antennae will go on alert and trust will be difficult to establish.

If you are trying to be authentic and transparent and it is just an act, then that act itself blocks your authenticity. The only reason we activate our fence is to keep ourselves protected from someone or something. Why would we find a need to protect ourselves? It's because we all have some basic insecurities. We regularly asks ourselves questions like: Am I good enough> Do I really know enough? Am I really smart enough? And, based on how we really feel about that, the fence becomes more or less a part of who we are.

Some of us are fortunate enough to know exactly where we stand. We are human-each of us filled with self-belief and behaviors that run the gamut from glorious to not good! We  eventually recognize the only way to experience effective relationships is to deactivate the invisible fence and allow others to see the real person that we are. We finally accept our own positive traits- along with our human failures and warts. If unresolved conflict from the past is creating the fence, we make a sincere effort to resolve the conflict. We commit to working on our warts, and we don't ignore them or run from the fact they exist. When we do this, we are naturally more transparent, and we are able to experience relationships that are genuine and authentic. By doing this, we begin to trust ourselves, trust others, and gain others trust and respect. What are we doing? We are building credibility.

When others know you and believe you are authentic, you are more likely to build trust. And again when you inspire others to believe and have trust in you, you are building again credibility.

Trust factor Part III: In-built antennae

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Continuing on the trust factor, what are all the other factors which builds/destroys trust?

All of us know someone who has had a tendency to brag or enlarge the truth on a regular basis. One of the leaders I used to follow gave a powerful speech.  It was powerful. I can tell his style of delivery was impeccable, passionate. Towards the end of his speech, he quoted Rudyard Kipling(RK)'s If and  instead of giving credit to RK, he said he wrote it. My jaws dropped instantly and I was embarrassed to say the least. This person, over time loses credibility with people. Usually, this person is someone you would not describe as authentic or real.  Over time, you are likely to lose trust in anything this person says. Indeed, this person will definitely lose personal credibility as a result of this behavior. What is going on with the person?

The person most likely wants others to see him or her in a way that is different than what he/she believes about him/herself. One of my business coaches always used to tell " Express, but don't try to impress." If someone does this kind of bragging, your reaction will be , "If you can't be sincere and honest in what you say or how you share information, I can't trust you. You brag and enlarge the truth. You aren't for real. And if I can't trust you, I don't want a close relationship with you."  Ultimately the person has lost personal credibility because he/she has lost your trust.

Another group of people I find it difficult to trust are stiff  or somewhat stilted in their communication with me. It is difficult to get a sense of who this person really is. These are individuals who are likely to open up very little to anyone and reveals little about themselves. They keep everyone at arm's length-almost if there is a wall surrounding them. The result is that others find it difficult  to trust someone who is so unwilling to demonstrate openness and authenticity. The fence they have developed has created a distance with others, decreases trust, and, ultimately, decreases the opportunity for this person to building lasting trusting relationship with them.  Others will say "If you don't trust me to enough to be sincere and open, I really can't trust you either." Without trust from others, the individual loses credibility.

When someone behaves in a way that makes sense to us and inspires to trust him/her as being authentic and real, that person increases personal credibility. And the opposite is true as well. When we interact with someone who is unwilling or unable to be sincere or authentic, we lose trust.

Karthik, how do you know all of this? 

Some of it is by observation from other people. I am guilty for some of these and just like the title of my webpage says, "Striving for Excellence", I am trying to learn from my mistakes and so that I can learn from it and others can benefit from it as well.

I am currently in India and having a chance to observe more people, I am realizing how so many people are oblivious to their blind spots. For some of the people, blind spots can be blind zones. I am thankful to God for making me identify and rectify my blunders so that I can learn from them.

When someone is transparent, we can see through it. Nothing is hidden, no barriers exist, and nothing is covered up. When someone is transparent, we know that we are seeing the 'true' person. But transparency is more than being truthful- it is being truthful in a way that others can easily detect. When someone is transparent, and clearly demonstrates behaviors that others value and trust, personal credibility is much more easily achieved. The opportunity to be transparent and authentic is there for every human on earth.

All of us have an inbuilt antennae wherein we can interact with someone briefly and determine the person's  sincerity, authenticity and comfort with simply being themselves.

Individuals who possess strong personal credibility have an authenticity about them that is detectable. One such person who can think of immediately is my wife "Shobana". She gives an  "I am who I am impression to others." Typically, the more transparent people are, the less inclined they are at trying to impress others. Now, this doesn't mean they don't care about others or the impact they have on them-it is quite the opposite. It means simply that the focus is not on, "What are you thinking of me?' but instead on, "How can I better know and understand you?'.

People who are transparent in a positive and genuine way are typically self-accepting.  They understand that they are imperfect beings. They know they mess up, make mistakes and don't have all the answers, They are strong enough to accept this, and then go about the process of living their life by internally acknowledging imperfections and challenges- and learning from them.

Let us all do that as the bottomline for all relationships is trust. People love to have relationships with people whom they trust and respect. People love to build businesses whom they have trust. Let us work on these and make it happen!

Trust factor: Part II

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Why is trust factor important? What is its value?

When people have credibility, they are able to inspire others to trust and believe in who they are and what they do.

What builds it and what tears it down? Can you have it and lose it? And  if you lose it, can you get it back?

Credibility is available for everyone-regardless of who you are and what you do. Your position, status or role in life has nothing to do with your personal trust factor. Different people play different roles in their careers and some are roles of very high authority-however, there is no lasting connection between higher authority and your credibility.

I will give you couple of instances to drive home the point.

1. Five students are expected to complete a project for their school assignment. The teacher nominated Keith to be the captain of the team. Just in case, if he is unavailable the teacher nominated Anish. Well, Keith has good grades in the class. Anish grades are lesser than Keith but when comes to discussion for the project, the group members listened and paid attention to Anish more than Keith. Why? Anish showed lot of initiative and took steps about making the project work whereas Keith was basking in the sun.  There are occasions when Keith and Anish had said the same idea, but the group members bought what Anish said as opposed to Keith as they saw Anish in action. Action brings credibility than position.

2. During this short stay in Chennai, I wanted to make sure I am healthy. I was checking out the gyms in the local area. I probably visited about half a dozen of them. Finally I shortlisted them based on one vital component. I was looking at the people who were showing me around the gym. I looked at how they looked. Some of them I gotta tell you have not worked out ever. Anyways, the take home message is, " It is not what you say, it is what you do that gives credibility.

To be continued..after my class.

The 'Trust Factor'

-Karthik Gurumurthy

I am enjoying the time in India serving my parents and thankful to God for giving me an opportunity to be with them during these times. Thankfully, I am blessed with an opportunity to teach couple of wonderful students from US during the night time (using Skype). After I am done with the sessions around midnight, I am all fresh and up. During this time it gives me an opportunity to ponder upon few things which had been in my mind for sometime.

Essentially it revolves around the topic of  'Trust'. How important is Trust in a relationship, in a business or in general life. What gives credibility to someone?

When others believe, trust and have confidence in you, you instantly receive their respect meaning you have credibility with them. When you are respected, your self-worth and confidence increases. When you receive respect- from both yourself and others- you are both self-accepting. Self-acceptance allows you to be just yourself, which increases authenticity. When you are genuine, others instinctively believe and trust in you more.

But wait a minute..Is trust based on the type of person that you are, or is it based on the types of things you do?

If you think about it, the only way we can assess people is from our observations of what they do.

To give you an instance, few weeks back my parents had ordered an inverter (An inverter is an instrument which helps you to operate few of your electrical appliances in the event of an electrical power shutdown so that you can operate appliances such as light or fan etc.). The guy who came to our place for installing talked to us as if he is genuine. After he left we found out, he installed an older equipment which didn't have warranty. Anyway long story short, we found that the guy was a phony (even though he looked genuine). His actions showed what he was really made up of. There are two things which are really vital to understand. Character and reputation. Character is what you are and reputation is what other people think of you. Most people worry about reputation than character. 

Actions speak louder than words. It is what people do that forms our opinions, relationships and ultimate decisions of whether to trust and respect them. Our impressions, thoughts, and opinions are constantly being formed and reformed, most often in our subconscious. Although, we might be unaware of it, we stay in constant "observer" mode with those around us, and they say in the same mode observing us! We might not always have all the facts, and our observations might change over time, but regardless it is still the only information on which we have to base our thoughts and opinions of others. For this reason, it is what people do that determines our belief, respect and trust in them- it what we all do that determines our credibility.

Why is this important? At our very core, we want to know who can trust and respect- and we want to receive the same trust and respect from others. However, we are living in a world where it is becoming more and more difficult to discern who deserves our trust and respect. Headlines and TV news are filled with stories of troubled organizations, sports personalities, political leaders for misleading the public. Consequently we find ourselves wondering if personal credibility with public figures is only something of the past. On a more personal level, family, friends and coworkers violate our trust and lose credibility as a result. Most people- regardless of whether they are in the public spotlight-don't intentionally choose a life of being disbelieved, mistrusted and disrespected.

The true reality is that trust either occurs or is damaged due to ongoing decisions we make and behaviors we demonstrate.

For most of us, there is an inherent need to be valued and respected by others, while at the same time, to be comfortable and confident in being who we authentically are. We want to live a life that causes others to say: " Karthik Gurumurthy- now that is someone with  credibility or someone I can always trust!' We all don't experience that type of life though. The great news is this :We all can experience greater personal credibility- if we are willing to take sometime to  honestly evaluate ourselves, look at our own actions and behaviors, and build some new habits. More on this tomorrow.  Good night.

Don't say "never"

-Karthik Gurumurthy

One thing is for sure. I will never say never again. Every time I have said never, I've been wrong.

The classic example was few years back when a good friend of mine asked me before I left to US about my future career endeavors. I told him with a straight face, "I am passionate about science and research and I will never do anything in any other fields." Little did I know  few years from that time,  I changed my area of specialization. Nothing wrong about being focussed in a field or expertise. But when I was born, God did not make an invisible tattoo over my forehead saying "This guy is meant to be Research Scientist..That is it period." Nothing like that.

None of us can ever be sure of anything. Keep an open mind. Different circumstances require different choices. Never is forever and leaves no flexibility, no wiggle room, no balance. One French writer said,  " I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love of truth, and truth rewarded me." Try not to say you will outgrow certain beliefs because saying so will close your mind, when you are obviously searching for guidance and direction. There are many roads to truth, and some of them are not the best paved or marked; they are stumbled upon unexpectedly.

Around the corner of every moment is the fascination of the unknown. Because we never know, we should feel the freedom that comes from acceptance. We step into the unknown, accepting what comes, and letting go of what goes. Choose to change your mind when circumstances change and when you have evolved to greater depth and understanding.

Most critical but commonly missed element to succeed

  -Karthik Gurumurthy

This is one of the areas I had to work more than any others but the payoff was worth it.  I still haven't reached where I wanted to be, but I am getting there.  This is one of the common areas which lot of us fall short.

 

 

Accountability means being responsible for our actions—to somebody for something.  However, I am not writing about how to hold other people accountable. It’s about us holding ourself accountable.

When we take 100 % responsibility for holding ourself accountable, our performance will shine, our relationships will flourish, our market value will multiply, people’s respect for uswill soar, we will be a great example for everyone to follow, and personally  on top of that, our self-esteem will grow.

How is it that in all these areas of our life we can see such a great improvement?  Because when we hold ourself accountable to doing the things we know we should do, we will distinguish yourself from the crowd.

I am convinced if we want to advance our life personally or professionally, we must hold ourself accountable for our actions, responsibilities, and goals.  Think about it. Why should it be someone else’s responsibility to make sure we are doing the things that we know we should to be doing?

The mindset I adopted more than 3 years ago is this: it is up to me and no one else to make sure I am doing what I know I should be doing. When someone has to hold me accountable, because I failed to do what I should have done, I have a serious conversation with myself. My belief is that no one should have to hold me accountable for my actions, responsibilities and goals. While I appreciate others helping me get better, I am the one that must hold myself to a high standard.


There are three areas in which we must hold yourself accountable:

1.    Our actions and choices.  What actions and choices I am talking about?

•  How we communicate with others.
• How we spend our time. If God wants to see what we have done in the last 24 hours and based on how we spent it, if he is going to grant another 24 hours, will we pass the test? Think about it.
• Our behavior and manners
• The consideration and respect we show others
•  Our eating habits and exercising routine (I am working on this!!)
• Our attitude and thoughts
• The way we respond to challenges

2.    Our responsibilities—This would include these types of things:

•  Returning calls, emails, and texts in a timely manner
• Being on time for business and personal appointments
• Keeping our home, car, and workplace clean
•  Spending less than we earn
• Doing the things we agreed to do when we agreed to do them
• Executing our job description to the best of our ability
• Writing things down on a “To Do” list so we don’t forget

3.    Our goals—This would include our:

•     Fitness and health targets

•     Financial goals

•     Family objectives

•     Career ambitions

•     Personal goals

•     Marital enhancement

•     Any other goals we have set for ourself

Make no mistake about it. We cannot achieve any worthwhile goal, if we don’t hold ourself accountable. The reason is simple. It’s our life!  We are witnessing enough examples in day-to-day life how lack of accountability kills relationships. Eg. Tiger Woods, Arnold Schwarzeneggar...

Holding ourself accountable is nothing more than following through with OUR commitments and responsibilities.  It’s doing what YOU know YOU should do, when YOU should it. Last week I had a chance to listen to Entrepreneur Sugeet Ajmani who said " the bigger gap than Grand Canyon is the gap between knowing and doing."

Irrespective of where we are in our life, let today be the day that we can make the commitment to ourself that we will NEVER again require anyone else to hold us accountable.  After being associated with my wife Shobana, I have started keeping a prioritized “To Do” list which really help focus on holding myself accountable to working through my tasks in a prioritized sequence. Just like any good habit, it is difficult to get started but once you make it a habit, it is worth it. I strongly recommend it.

One life to live..Take charge and live large!

Role Models

-Karthik Gurumurthy

People who start acting in movies, stars in any sports have all become role models for the general public. But the question always arises with regards to being a positive impactful role model or a negative one.

We are always looking for the ideals, the idols we can point to and say "Be like that". I remember my mom in an attempt to promote fruits and vegetables to my brother Aravind would say something like, "If you want to be strong and hit sixes like Kapil Dev, then you should eat lots of vegetables like him." This would make my brother open his mouth little more so that he can munch little more food. I was a big fan of Kapil and his story is a good example of rags to riches. True positive role models are those who possess the qualities that we would like to have and those who have affected us in a way that makes us want to be better people.

What characteristics would you look for in a role model? Leadership Guru Dr. John C Maxwell lists  some of the characteristics of role models.

• Self Discipline
• High standard of integrity
• Desire for higher purpose
• Willingness to put that purpose before selfish wants
• Assuming responsibility for all personal actions
• Ability to listen to criticism and not be defensive.
• Self Reliance
• Dependability
• Strength to tell the truth without blaming other people.

I was a big fan of Charlie Sheen when I watched movies like Wall Street, Major League. I used to hear lot of great things about the consistency of preparation behind Tiger Woods. Even though they were admired for their talents at some point of time, both of them did not learn to consider the consequences of their actions in a broader sense.

The question each of us need to ask is: how are we helping each other grow to become the best that we can possibly be? Who are the role models we look to so we can become the best we can be? What changes can I make now so that I can become extra-ordinary and become someone to emulate? 

Once our behavior is changed in such a way that we adhere to high standards of integrity addressing the character traits in a consistent way, then the success we attain will be of permanent nature.

 

Are you goal obsessed?

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Best selling author Mark Sanborn says, "Goals are great, but there are some few issues one has to watch out for. Technology is great tool but can be used for bad. Food is good, but eat too much of even the best foods and you will experience problems". Once you know about the risks, you can deal with them.

Let us start with a look at the good side of having goals. Goals give us something to aim for. Assuming what we’re aiming for is worth hitting, that much is good. Goals bring focus and structure to business and life. They allow us to benchmark progress or regress, and increase the odds of achieving success intentionally rather than accidentally.

Goals should guide us, but they should never control us. That’s one potential problem with goals. It is really possible to go from  being focussed on goals to being goal-obsessed. Rather than controlling our goals, our goals control us. When we become fixated, we risk paying too much to achieve a goal, or even lose sight of the reason behind the goal. If we get too obsessed, then we leave a trail of destruction in that process where we compromise on the integrity, character and relationship(s). What am I saying?

Let us say your goal is to get A in one of your hard classes. You study hard day and night and still feel that you are unprepared for the exam. But your end goal is 'A'. You feel inadequate about your preparation. So you decide to have a cheat sheet and use it in your exam. What is the end result? You did get an A in the exam. Everybody cheers for you. But you know deep down you didn't earn it.  That is a perfect example of being obsessed with your goal and doing whatever it takes to get it done (even compromising integrity!)

Like Socrates said that the unexamined life isn’t worth living, the unexamined use of goals can prevent us from achieving the success we desire.

One benefit of goal-setting is what we become in the process, whether or not we achieve the goal. I would argue we often learn more from failed attempts than successes.

I believe goals can and sometimes should evolve. While I’m not an advocate of purposeless activity, I do believe, as the old saying goes, that luck favors momentum. I think it better to be in the ocean splashing around than sitting on the beach planning a swim.

Many of the best things that have happened in my life have evolved. I have always been goal-directed, but never goal obsessed. On the few instances where I wanted a goal too much, I found myself disheartened and bitter when I didn’t achieve it. Oddly, once I relaxed my grip on that type of goal, I often achieved it at a later—and better—time. And the goals I didn’t achieve I often found to be far less important than I had imagined.

The purpose of the goal is what powers us; the motivation is in the reason for the goal.
I could give you a goal to earn a million dollars in the next 12 months and it would have little power in your life unless you had a compelling reason to do so.

If, however, you had a close family or friend who needed a life-saving medical procedure not covered by insurance that cost $1 million, you would suddenly and surely be motivated to achieve that goal.

We need to make sure that the reasons for setting a goal are sufficient to motivate us. Compelling reasons result in completed goals.

Can goals slow down performance?

Consider this: what happens if you achieve your goals for the year by the middle of the year? What do you do for the rest of the year? There is something about the security of the achieved goal and human nature that causes us to relax a bit and lift off the gas pedal of achievement. In that funny way, goals can limit our achievement: we stop at goal achievement without achieving our true potential.

If we don’t set them high enough, we achieve them too easily and too soon. As a result we miss achieving more and learning more through the process.

Of course if you set a goal too high, you’ll be demoralized. When you realize your goal is unrealistic and unattainable, you’ll simply quit trying. The hardest part of goal setting is balancing stretch with attainability.

One way to avoid the let-down of goals realized too early or too easily is to simultaneously pursue your potential while going after your goals. Instead of just asking yourself how good you’ve become, ask yourself how good you could be.

And if you get audacious goals—goals you aren’t quite sure you’re capable of achieving—then include some short-term goals that will give you quick and consistent victories. These smaller goals will help you build momentum to go after the big, audacious ones.

Like any good tool used well, goals and goal-setting can enrich your personal and professional life. But the process isn’t perfect and the potential problems I’ve outlined can help you both avoid the downsides and make better use of how you effectively use goals in your life.

Gossip

-Karthik Gurumurthy

We frequently hear little jokes about gossip, like the two people who were talking and one said, " I can't tell you any more. I've already told you more than I heard." In that line is much of the tragedy about gossip, which can, and often has, destroyed a person's reputation. My mom has always mentioned that "Whoever gossips to you, will gossip of you."  Gossip always damages relationships, specifically with the person you are gossiping about. For example, once you have said something unkind about a person, you will feel uncomfortable around them and your relationship with them will suffer.

Self made entrepreneur Claudia Nardone wisely points out that before we disseminate information that might be considered gossip, we must carefully ponder three questions: Number one, Is it the truth? If it fails the first test, then it is not repeatable. Number two, even if it is the truth, Do you really need to share it? Will it help anyone? Will it hurt anyone? Would it be better left unsaid? If there are no benefits to anyone, then what possible purpose could repeating it serve? Number three, Is it kind?

In our world so full of cynicism and skepticism, will repeating this story be kind? Would it be better left unsaid? Would you really be better off repeating this information? When you analyze it this way, your chances of being gossiper are dramatically reduced.

When you consider the benefits of stopping gossip in its tracks, you'll discover they're substantial. First, you do not damage yourself, which means that your reputation and esteem are untarnished. That's good. Second, you won't harm someone else's reputation. This means that you will have a bigger circle of friends. Since most of us do not have any friends we would like to lose, that's good!