-Karthik Gurumurthy
I take my wisdom where ever I can find it. Recently I heard about a young man who dreamed about becoming a bull fighter. The goal in the ring is to stay on the bull for eight seconds. The first six months, the guy worried constantly: "What if I get thrown right away? What if I get trampled? And sure enough, he kept getting thrown before the eight seconds. Then one day, he decided to try something different. Instead of worrying about all that could go wrong, he'd worry about what could go right: "What will I do with the loads of money I will make? What about the fans who want my autograph?". He is now a champion.
As the bullfighter discovered, when we imagine all the things that could go wrong, we create a lot of internal interference, some kind of static in our minds which increases the chances of failure. Our emotional brains want to move away from the possibility of pain, so intentionally or otherwise, we goof up or give up. When, on the other hand, we focus on all the positive outcomes, our emotional brain is attracted by the possibility of greater pleasure and so it aids in our going toward what we want.
Another reason this happens is because, according to my friend Dr. R who works in neuroscience is that we humans do not think in facts, but in frames. Mindsets are made up of frames of reference (the ways individuals make sense of situations) that lead to the formation of priorities (the relative importance of various options). Shared mindsets within an organization serve as the foundations of culture and ultimately lead to common patterns of behavior. In simple terms, I think these mindsets are the stories we tell ourselves about life that get confirmed over and over because we filter out any conflicting information.
How this relates to change is that each of us has a frame, a story about ourselves and life, that influences everything we think and do. Unless we change the frame, it will be hard to get different results in our lives. I know a friend of mine whose mind-set is that people who have their own business are corrupt. He felt that they are out there to rip off. And guess what- his story keeps coming true. Is it because there are no honest entrepreneurs? Of course not. But he interprets all behavior as proof that he's right, filtering out any trait of the entrepreneur that showed good character, trustworthiness and integrity.
One way to create a new frame is to do what the bull fighter did- create a new positive story about a future self. Then making the necessary changes becomes possible because you have got a new story to live with.
To create a new positive frame, write yourself a letter from your future. Imagine, it is 5 years from now and that future self has accomplished what you want. The you of the future has accomplished the 95% of the goals you had set for yourself. The reason I didn't say 100% is because then there is no reason to live if you have accomplished everything you wanted to achieve.
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