Striving towards Excellence

Courage

by Karthik Gurumurthy

Courage is the inner fortitude that allows you to overcome inner barriers and to step up t0 take a chance, even when it seems impossible. The most successful people I know embody that kind of bravery that makes others remark " I can't believe you did that".

An Italian proverb says "He who does nothing does not fail." Courage means you will try something even if you are not certain of the outcome, that you will take a stand when others are running for cover, that you'll risk failure to get where you want to go. Perfect example of someone who did the opposite is Captain Coward.

Courage isn't bravado or taking stupid risks. It is simply deciding to live in a mind-set of possibility instead of fear. It is manifested in everyday actions.

What keeps you going?

-Karthik Gurumurthy

I heard this story recently and it is worth sharing..

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the water close to Japan has not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population,  fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring the fish.  If the return trip took more time, the fish were not fresh.  To solve this problem, fish companies installed freezers on their boats.  They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea.  Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen fish. And they did not like the taste of frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks.  They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, they were tired, dull, and lost their fresh-fish taste. The fishing industry faced an impending crisis!But today, they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan.

How did they manage? To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks but with a small shark.

The fish are challenged and hence are constantly on the move. The challenge they face keeps them alive and fresh!

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired and dull?

Basically in our lives, sharks are new challenges to keep us active. If you are steadily conquering challenges, you are happy. Your challenges keep you energized. Don’t create success and revel in it in a state of inertia. You have the resources, skills and abilities to make a difference. Don't avoid challenges, embrace them. Put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!

Sense of Urgency

-Karthik Gurumurthy

The last blog was basically dedicated to my aunt whom I had tremendous respect. When I heard about her demise, it struck me like a thunderbolt few things which I would have missed to appreciate in day-to-day rut.

What was the realization?

It’s the people we love most that we take most for granted? Odd isn’t it. It’s easy to spend less time with your family because they will always be there for you (or so you assume). It’s easy to put off expressing your love to your loved ones because there seems to be no urgency at play. It’s easy to let home relationships slip because you assume there are more pressing things to deal with. But what could possibly be more important than your family? Is there any wisdom in being successful yet alone?

So pick up the phone and tell your parents that you love them. Before you leave to work, give your spouse a kiss-like you mean it. And please please please-hug your kids. Enjoy them while you can-they’ll only be young once. And once that window of opportunity closes-it will be gone forever.

Do everything in your day with a sense of urgency as if it is the last day of your life and you won't regret it.

Remembering Kalyani Athai

-Karthik Gurumurthy

I am extremely blessed with a wonderful family whom I cherish. Who I am is shaped up predominantly as a result of interactions with the family and friends. One of the people whom I admire, adore is Kalyani Athai (KA). Athai in my language means Aunt. Kalyani Athai is my dad's older sister. KA lived in Nagpur right from the time she got married. As a matter of fact, she was the one who named me as  ' Karthik'. On Feb 18, KA went to be with God. Since I was born and raised in Chennai, my interaction with her was very limited.

In the limited opportunity I had to interact with her, I found her simply amazing GO- Giver. She was very soft-spoken and kind. I have been to Nagpur couple of times during the summer vacation. It was lot of fun and she always used to make different kinds of delicious food and she always went the extra mile to make you feel special. When my uncle and aunt visit, I always wanted to spend more time with them. She makes one of the best Chhole I have ever tasted ('Chhole means Garbanzo beans'). She used to narrate lot of stories about all the pranks my dad did when he was little. I have never seen her gossip or put other people down. It is amazing how much you learn by watching older people behave and interact. She was perfect example of practicing unconditional love, loving every person she comes in contact with and being amazingly kind. The last time I saw her was during my wedding. Last few years she was suffering from Alzheimers before she went to the Lord.

It is sad when we lose one of our close family member, it is a life that was given & yet taken away. What we must always remember is the worth of the life given and by remembering everything that this lady contributed to our world means she has only fallen asleep. She won’t die as in real terms but will live on in the hearts and minds of those she left behind. We definitely miss her physical presence but she did leave a legacy. Legacy of being kind, caring and being a Go- Giver. And as we bid farewell another life, we can pray and hope one day we will all be together again. We can practice what she stood for and that is the best way to honor her to treat everyone with respect, unconditional love and kindness. Thanks Athai for who you are and what you represented. You will be missed for sure.

 

Unconditional Serving

-Karthik Gurumurthy

I have been approached by students , business associates, friends and family about their challenges and they ask for my advice. After carefully understanding their issue, I give recommendations which might help them in the long run. Then when I observe what they actually did, they did exactly opposite of what I recommended. This used to bug me until I shared with my business coach Bijon.

He said, “Karthik, you are responsible to your audience, but not for them. You are responsible to them to be prepared, to put forth the very best information you can and share it in such a way that it can be effectively utilized. You are responsible to them for that.

“But” he continued, “you are not responsible for them. You cannot control who chooses to use that information and benefit from it. That is up to them.”

What terrific advice. And, I believe it applies to all of us who work with people, regardless of the “audience” whether one-on-one, committee or huge crowd.  I believe that whether we’re talking about products, services, or the solutions designed to help them, the attitude Bijon suggests is a vital part of a successful career. And, for that matter, any type of interpersonal persuasion process. Why? Because…

#1 Attachment Is A big no-no. If we have too much emotion invested in their taking a certain action, it’ll show through, and that person will probably follow the natural human tendency to resist that  which they feel is being pushed upon them.

And…

#2 It Fortifies Us. When we can walk away without emotional attachment to the results, or, what I call “Positive Detachment” (also known as “posture”), it strengthens us when trying to help the next person. And that person might just take our advice.

So, care about helping them, care about serving them, care about providing them value. You are responsible for that part of process. But, don’t get too caught up in the result. You are not responsible, nor can you ethically control their decisions.

Indeed, you are responsible to them…but not for them.

Happy New Year 2011

 

I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday season. This is the time to renew the relationships and reflect on what could have been done better last year. People also use this time to make a decision or they make a vow to themselves to change few things in 2011 such as working out regularly, be more compassionate, grateful, lose weight, higher savings and what not!..Right now as I type this, it is hard to get any parking space in any fitness center. Let us wait for few more weeks and see what happens!

Typically We resign ourselves to a temporary elevation of the spirit.

It doesn’t need to be that way.

Some are able to exhibit the compassion, appreciation and joy of the season throughout the year.

How do they do it? And how do leaders keep the spirit of an organization’s culture and values alive long after the kick off or launch?

My observation is that those who do best at keeping the spirit alive–whether of a faith, holiday, belief or even a corporate culture–do three things: they remember, remind and rehearse.

Remember what you want to retain. It sounds so simple and is so hard to do. How many times have you slapped yourself on the forehead and said, “I knew that!” Yet somehow you temporarily forgot.

Have you clarified exactly what the spirit is that you want to keep alive? You can’t remember what you never knew to begin with. Summarize the key values and behaviors you want to remember. Write down key phrases where you’ll see them often. Reflect on those things frequently and etch them into your memory.

Remind others of what you want is important. A leader of influence always keeps the dream alive in the team.

A good parent looks for teachable moments to remind children of important lessons.

Of course there is an additional benefit: reminding others helps you remember as well.

Rehearse the behaviors of the spirit you embrace. A great actor rehearses his or her lines until they are delivered with perfection. There is no substitute for doing. Almost everyone knows what is good, right or important but leaders are those who act on their knowledge. Have you considered what you can do each day to demonstrate the spirit you value? Let your behavior be a witness for your words.

Don’t let the spirit of any important seasons or event evaporate. Remember, remind and rehearse to keep the important messages and themes of significant events alive long after they are over.

Let us be dream driven in 2011.

Let us make it happen in 2011.

It is the most wonderful time of the year

-Karthik Gurumurthy

Christmas is almost here and with it comes for most the celebration season.  It’s the time of the year where we celebrate with family and friends. Eat food and share gifts. The gifts can come in the form of something purchased or they can appear in the form of a visit from a friend or a card in the mail. It truly can be the most wonderful time of the year.

I also believe that this is the most important time to plan your 2011. Why wait until January 1st to start thinking about the new year. What if you take the time now to reflect and evaluate your 2010. Take some time to list your successes, failures, triumphs and tragedies. You need to see how your “season” went to make changes and develop a game plan for the new year ahead. Create four lists; health, family, spiritual/personal growth and wealth. Under these headings write down the key goals that you want to achieve in each category. Plan out your year, where will you be by the end of January, June, September and then December 1st. Be a specific as you can. If you want to be in the best physical shape then be specific, how do you want to look, feel, what do you want to eat, how long do you want to sleep. With Family and friends figure out the connections you want to make, the bonds you want to strengthen and the time you need to spend with those you love. Hug some more, love some more and listen some more. Do the same with the spiritual/personal and wealth.

You get the idea. Make 2011 the best year you can by building momentum towards it now. It could and will be the best year of your life (so far) if you choose.

 

What is your mindset?

-Karthik Gurumurthy

I take my wisdom where ever I can find it. Recently I heard about a young man who dreamed about becoming a bull fighter. The goal in the ring is to stay on the bull for eight seconds. The first six months, the guy worried constantly: "What if I get thrown right away? What if I get trampled? And sure enough, he kept getting thrown before the eight seconds. Then one day, he decided to try something different. Instead of worrying about all that could go wrong, he'd worry about what could go right: "What will I do with the loads of money I will make? What about the fans who want my autograph?". He is now a champion.

As the bullfighter discovered, when we imagine all the things that could go wrong, we create a lot of internal interference, some kind of static in our minds which increases the chances of failure. Our emotional brains want to move away from the possibility of pain, so intentionally or otherwise, we goof up or give up.  When, on the other hand, we focus on all the positive outcomes, our emotional brain is attracted by the possibility of greater pleasure and so it aids in our going toward what we want.

Another reason this happens is because, according to my friend Dr. R who works in neuroscience is that we humans do not think in facts, but in frames. Mindsets are made up of frames of reference (the ways individuals make sense of situations) that lead to the formation of priorities (the relative importance of various options). Shared mindsets within an organization serve as the foundations of culture and ultimately lead to common patterns of behavior. In simple terms, I think these mindsets are the stories we tell ourselves about life that get confirmed over and over because we filter out any conflicting information.

How this relates to change is that each of us has a frame, a story about ourselves and life, that influences everything we think and do. Unless we change the frame, it will be hard to get different results in our lives. I know a friend of mine whose mind-set is that people who have their own business are corrupt. He felt that they are out there to rip off. And guess what- his story keeps coming true. Is it because there are no honest entrepreneurs? Of course not. But he interprets all behavior as proof that he's right, filtering out any trait of the entrepreneur that showed good character, trustworthiness and integrity.

One way to create a new frame is to do what the bull fighter did- create a new positive story about a future self. Then making the necessary changes becomes possible because you have got a new story to live with.

To create a new positive frame, write yourself a letter from your future. Imagine, it is 5 years from now and that future self has accomplished what you want. The you of the future has accomplished the 95% of the goals you had set for yourself. The reason I didn't say 100% is because then there is no reason to live if you have accomplished everything you wanted to achieve.

If I am starting all over, what will I change?

-Karthik Gurumurthy

We always want to start our life with a clean slate and wish we didn't commit the blunders we have done in the past. If I am starting all over, the following would be list of choices, things I would have made knowing what I know now.

• You have a choice whether you want to focus on the positive or the negative in any situation. It is vital to exercise that right and live a happier life for doing so. It makes you more responsible or accountable for your actions.
• If you keep doing what you have always done and you will keep the same results. Einstein said, " the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." You might say this is common sense, but common sense is uncommon sometimes.
• If you are holding a grudge against someone, it  harms you far more than it will ever harm someone else. They probably might never know about it. The best thing is to find a better use for your time and energy.
• Success is in your journey towards your goals. If you aren’t enjoying the process, it is quite likely that you are in the wrong lane. Don’t be afraid to go back to square one and refocus your efforts. It’s much better to do it now than further down the road.
• You might have heard about the saying “What you resist, persists”. Sometimes the best thing is to let go, rather than needing all the answers. You’ll never have all the answers.
• One of the people who have had tremendous influence on me was my research advisor @ IGCAR., Dr. K.S. Viswanathan. He always used to say "Question everything you read or hear". Do question even the points I have shared with you today. Often it is our ‘failures’ that allow us to see the real truth in sayings.
• View  all hurdles in your path from a new perspective, a new mindset. Instead of seeing them as a stop sign, see them as an opportunity to show how badly you want something.
• Whatever 'hurdles’ you have, i s very much possible that someone else has had the same issue and already provided a solution. Find comfort in knowing you are not alone, not in the results.
• Never let your ego get in the way. Whether it is going for the things you want in life or simply telling people how much they mean to you. Life is too short to miss the opportunity, if people judge you for it, once again, that is their problem, not yours.
• Sometimes, no matter how positive or encouraging your advice is, people are not ready to hear it.  Just accept this and don’t see someone’s resistance to change as a reflection on you.
• What people say about you is not your business. People will talk about you unfavorably whether you are there to witness it or not.
• Right now, this is life, make the most of it. What you do today could affect millions of people in a positive light, or you could bring down the mood of those around you. Which would you like to achieve?

 

What we can learn from Zig Ziglar

-Karthik Gurumurthy

One of my favorite self-help books is "See you at the top". It was written by Zig Ziglar. Zig Ziglar is an American author, salesperson and a motivational speaker.

Sometimes, a simple quote can change the way you see something, and that is what Zig Ziglar does so well.

With all that said, enjoy the quotes below and think about how you can apply them to your own life. Is there something that can be improved? What steps can you take today to improve what you already have?

• "You can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."  Being selfish in life might make you happy in the short-term, but sooner or later you’ll realize that what really matters is helping others. It is what brings joy into your life and gets you up in the morning. I am by no means saying to neglect yourself, because if you do not help yourself, you cannot help others, so there’s always a fine line of balance.


• "The greatest good we can do for others is not just to share our riches with them, but to reveal theirs." Everyone has at least one gift and one passion in this life, usually more. Sometimes we’re blind to what’s in front of us, and we need someone else to point out the obvious.It took me a long time to realize that I really liked writing. Writing is something that comes naturally to me, and I love it. If it is one of my riches I do not know, but for now it certainly seems like it.


• "Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude." It is not your inherent ability that determines your success, but your attitude. I’ve seen people have everything delivered to them on a silver platter and fail miserably. They gave up at the first sign of trouble.I’ve also seen people succeed with very little. If you’re determined to succeed, you won’t stop until you do.


• "Every choice you make has an end result." What kind of choices are you making today, and how will they affect your life one day, one month, one year, or ten years from now?Are you constantly avoiding going after your passion because you’re afraid of what might happen? Are you waiting for the stars to align so you can go after your dreams? The decisions you make today are the ones that shape your life, so choose wisely.


• "If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost." I failed a lot before I succeeded and started making a living from my online business. Although failing hurts, I no longer look at it as defeat. I learn from each failure, and from each mistake I make.It may not be obvious what I’m learning all the time, but sooner or later it dawns on me. When you’re starting out with anything new, such as going after your passion and your dreams, you will make a lot of mistakes, and it will feel like you’re failing, but in reality, you’re making progress.


• "If you wait until all the lights are "green" before you leave home, you'll never get started on your trip to the top." This is an excellent quote, because a lot of people want to wait until things are perfect until they start going after their dreams. If you’re one of them, you most likely will be waiting your whole life. If you want to do something other than you’re doing now, then go after it, and start doing it in any little way you can. Stop waiting for permission. Stop waiting for things to work out. Start doing what you can do today, conquer your fears and take things from there.


• "Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful." Adversity doesn’t feel nice, but it is sometimes just what you need in order to be successful. We don’t have a crystal ball, so we can’t really see that today’s adversity is tomorrow’s success.Don’t judge the mistakes you make, the failures you have and the adversity you run into, because you never know if all of those things lead to something wonderful.

My wife Shobana and I felt that we should have read this book in high school. What you get from the book is nothing but Golden nuggets of wisdom which you can implement it every single day!